@MALAIKALIDA Wants You to Understand Her Thoughts on Being Ugly
"IN MY EARLY 20’S I FELT UGLY…I MADE THE DECISION TO DETACH MYSELF FROM EVERY SINGLE THING, PERSON, & SITUATION THAT MADE ME FEEL UGLY OR UNAPPRECIATED!”
What does it mean to be or feel ugly?
As i have been putting so much work into loving myself and learning to embrace my flaws, i don't associate being or feeling ugly with pysical characteristics anymore. To me being ugly or feeling ugly is related to ones behavior. Ugliness is related to being insecure.
How can you empower someone who feels ugly to feel beautiful?
I would encourage them to start self exploring and figure out what triggers that feeling of ugliness. Then put in the work to start healing while detaching from societies standards of beauty and social media "goals".
I believe we are all beautiful in our own diverse way, most of us just need to unlearn what we were told and taught beauty should look like, and start loving ourselves fully.
So basically i would say; practice selfcare, cheer yourself up, choose yourself always, break toxic patterns, do things that make you happy, hang with folks that are genuine, caring, supportive and uplifting. Be gentle with yourself during the whole process, and keep in mind that it's a lifetime process, so there is no rush, no rules, the pace is yours, just be ready to get out of your comfort zone.
Have you dealt with thoughts of ugliness, if so what was your resolve?
I felt ugly when my hair wasn't relaxed. Then when i didn't wear a fresh weave.
I suffered from acne, i felt ugly everytime i wasn't wearing makeup.
I felt ugly every time i was cheated on.
I felt ugly every time i was stuck in a dysfunctional relationship/situation/job...
I felt ugly after living birth to my son, as my body changed.
I started my natural hair journey, spent a whole year without wearing makeup (Occasionally using mascara and a brow pencil) and took care of my skin. I let go of every toxic person that was draining the sh*t out of me.
I unfollowed every single account on social media that triggered insecurities, and started following positive wellness accounts. I work out when I can, and practice yoga often, I eat healthy most of the times...
My resolve was unlearning, practicing selfcare, doing the work in order to heal, NOT SETTLING ANYMORE, and basicly setting my own standards for everything. Today i have a very strong relationship with myself, i don't let anyone or anything define my worth because i value myself.
*The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author/influencer featured and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of ChattinWithLDN/Ayo-Ma!